“Before kids can be successful in school

they need to be whole as human beings.

Dr. Newmark’s workshop gave me hope

for families and our communities.”

— Participant, Kennedy High School

Counselors Workshop

Strengthening Schools

“We envision a school where

parents and teachers work individually and

together to meet the emotional needs of

children at home and at school.”

— Dr. Newmark

A SENSE OF OWNERSHIP IN OUR SCHOOLS

Next to the family, the schools have perhaps the greatest influence in meeting the five critical needs of children. Unfortunately, the schools are plagued by as many difficulties as the beleaguered families. The problems of low achievement, inadequate financing, declining student and teacher morale, and poor school/parent relations persist from one decade to the next, and the dissatisfaction voiced by almost everyone is accompanied by increasingly stronger demands for change.

The need for cost-effective educational models that offer constructive, positive changes that are fundamental and systemic rather than superficial or limited has never been greater. Because of the diversity of schools and the constant pressure on students, parents, teachers and administrators, models are needed that cut across geographical, ethnic, and socio-economic boundaries. These models need to create a cooperative, friendly relationship among all the principal stakeholders and a sense of ownership in our schools. The Children’s Project was designed for this purpose.

The Children’s Project and The Five Critical Needs

In spite of all the discussion about change, there has been hardly a whisper about the failure to meet the emotional needs of our children, yet this continues to be one of the most serious problems jeopardizing the future of our children and our nation. To make matters worse, the educational community and policy-makers appear to be oblivious to the problem. A major purpose of the Children’s Project is to fill this troublesome void.

The Children’s Project, is a grass roots, nonprofit organization, initiated by Deborah Newmark, Director, and myself and based on my book, How To Raise Emotionally Healthy Children. It is a model for an emotional-health-friendly school culture which is applicable to every level of education and inclusive of all types of schools, programs, and populations. Its influence can be far reaching because the concept of the five critical emotional needs is fundamental and contributes to success in school, work, marriage, and life in general, and the book is written in a language which is clear, simple, straightforward—easy to read, understand and use according to the consistent feedback from lay people and experts alike.

OUR VISION

Our vision is one of a school where parents and teachers work individually and together to meet the emotional needs of children at home and at school—where adults interact with children, and with one another, in emotionally healthy ways. The book provides a common language—that of the five critical emotional needs—to bring home and school, parent and teacher closer together—reinforcing one another’s efforts to provide children an emotional foundation for success.

Just imagine what an impact this could have on the children’s emotional, intellectual, and social learning if all the teachers in the same school (pre-school, K-12, high school), year after year, were meeting the same emotional needs of children that the parents were satisfying at home.

TEACHING/LEARNING PROGRAM

The following are the basic elements of the teaching/learning program recommended for using the book in schools.

Each parent and teacher receives a free copy of How To Raise Emotionally Healthy Children from the sponsoring school. They are encouraged to engage in the following activities:

Parents

1. Learn by Doing—Read the book and immediately begin to implement the concepts in the daily interactions with their children.

2. Conscious Parenting—Keeping a Daily Journal/Becoming A Student of Your Own Behavior

At the end of each day, they take about 15 minutes to complete a brief questionnaire about their contribution to satisfying any of the children’s five critical needs and what they learned about their own behavior. These learning's are a guide for future interactions.

3. Mutual Support—Parent Support Group

Parents meet for 6-weekly sessions in a small group to share information, ask questions, present problems, give and receive feedback, and exchange ideas—those who wish can continue in successive sessions throughout the year. Sometimes a trained counselor or a facilitator guides the group; other times it may be a teacher, a non-professional leader or a leaderless group. (We provide a Facilitator’s Guide at no cost.)

Teachers

Provide three seminars with high school students on Parent/Child Relations. The students read the book, write book reports, discuss the material in class. High school and college students have been very positive about receiving this information. They have felt that the information would be valuable to them when they get married and have their own children—also in present relations with their parents, fellow students, friends, and significant others.

CONCLUDING THOUGHTS

As children experience throughout their school life what it’s like to feel respected, important accepted, included and secure (the opposite of what most children now experience) and these needs become a classroom and school value, they are more likely to become self confident, independent, responsible, caring, civic-minded individuals, who will:

• interact with classmates and elders in emotionally healthy ways

• be concerned with the feelings and well being of others

• accept challenges without excessive fear of failure

• stay in school and graduate

• avoid peer contacts that will get them in trouble and other self-defeating behavior

• as a higher achieving student, be willing to help others not doing as well

• as a student not doing well, be willing to ask others for help

• admit a mistake, and not view it as a weakness

• listen to feedback without defensiveness

• learn to offer feedback constructively

• not feel defeated by setbacks or failure, but be stimulated to work harder

• cease teasing, even in jest, when it upsets someone

• appreciate positive qualities or achievements of others

• approach disagreements with friends and others in an agreeable manner

• be a student of one’s own behavior with a view towards self-improvement

© 2009 The Children’s Project, a nonprofit organization.

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